I Love You
It’s not Valentine’s yet, but I settled on this title because I got the news the husband of a dear friend passed away yesterday afternoon. He was a very good man and was a positive influence on many people. He’d not been in the best of health, but still, no one expects it.
I have a number of friends who have lost their spouses. Guess that just comes with age, but still it hurts.
One of these people shared info to help be prepared when that happens, and it will happen to us all. Here are a few of those things.
- Passwords—make sure you know each other’s passwords, or you know where the updated list is stored. My friend posted her loss not just on her FB page but on her husband’s. When I saw that I was brought up short. My husband and I don’t know how to get into each other’s FB accounts. Had I not seen the post on her husband’s page, I’m not sure I’d have thought to do that.
- Have a conversation with each other and family members about what your requests are. You don’t need to have arrangements made with the funeral home ahead of time (though that’s best) but have the discussion about cremation or burial. When we had that conversation, I learned that one of our daughters really wanted some place to visit, so we will do a small plaque in the ground with the ashes there.
- Like passwords make sure everyone understands the financial situation. Where are all the bank accounts (if you have more than one). And credit cards, too.
- Know who to call first. One of those first five calls should be to your financial adviser if you have one. Ours is a very good friend. While my husband is a lawyer, we have another lawyer (again a good friend) who handles probate.
- Make sure you have a will and know where it is. Have the discussion about taking extreme steps to keep you alive. Have a Durable Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, & Directive to Physicians.
- For those of us who are authors, the spouse needs to have a clue about our books files. Maybe just write that all out for them. Not sure they can keep that in their heads. I have trouble keeping it in my head and they are my books. 😊
- You need to know how to do everything your spouse does and vice versa. From making the coffee to running the dishwasher to finding the shows you’ve recorded.
My friend has a lengthy list this just is the tip. If you’d like me to send you the complete list, I’d be happy to. Just leave your email in the comments below.
Now, I know you might think of this as a real downer of a post on this blog where we want to share encouraging words. But we probably all know folks or have heard of situations when the spouse dies and the remaining spouse is clueless, making the loss and surviving the loss so much more difficult.
We can’t make the hurt less, but we can help prepare so the nitty-gritty of dealing with a loss isn’t quite as devasting.
And lastly, tell you loved ones, “I love you,” and tell them often.
I do have a 99 Cent sale on two of my books the January 16th to the 21st which should bring a smile.
SECOND ACT, Book 1 The Second Chances Series
VERMONT ESCAPE, my first published book
Blurbs for each of my books with links can be found on my website https://authormarsharwest.wordpress.com/ Where you can also sign up for my blog and my NEWSLETTER MRW Press LLC (list-manage.com)